Paying Attention To The Sky

“His second night in Talkingham, Hazel Motes walked along down town close to the store fronts but not looking in them. The black sky was underpinned with long silver streaks that looked like scaffolding and depth on depth behind it were thousands of stars that seemed to be moving very slowly as if they were about some vast construction work that involved the whole order of the universe and would take all of time to complete. No one was paying attention to the sky.”
From Wise Blood by Flannery O’Connor

Lyrics:

Times have changed,
haven’t they?
People go
And no one stays

I thought by now I’d find some peace of mind but
I’m getting more restless every day

We’re fascinated that our time escapes us
we wonder why things don’t fall into place

As we grow up
We keep on looking down to find

Something we’d have
if paying attention to the sky

We have changed
Haven’t we?
We both ate
from a poison tree

With opened eyes we closed our hands together
in hopes we could undo what we undid

Coveting the things that have been veiled
We buy and sell the very skin we hid

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Afterthought


Lyrics:

Love can be an afterthought
Wakes you up to find you’re not
Where you really want to be
Missed an opportunity

I was asleep in
The heavens I created
Only to find that
Our hearts were separated

I won’t stop fighting till I die
I’m trying to be right by you and everyone you set apart
There’s no point hiding when I lie
You find me with a light reflecting off the souls I murdered in my heart

Love can be an afterthought
Shakes you up to find you caught
Up in arms and ready for
Fighting in a losing war

Wasteland

This (and all the others) are still in draft form. I’d appreciate thoughts as far as structure goes!

Lyrics:

I made my reason
subject to desire

But I am set free
through this awful fire

All these burns remind me
Never to return
Hell awaits behind me
If for Hell I yearn

I’m not ungrateful for the pain
I’ll never be the same now that I cannot fly

My hearts so heavy I am grounded
I won’t be caught up into the dark night sky

I’ve built this altar
Here in the wasteland

For all who falter
when the flame is fanned

All these burns remind me
Never to return
Hell awaits behind me
If for it I yearn

A story burning it’s own pages
So it might assuage our darkened minds

The glory of of a broken heart
that had a chance to start
again refined

I Am?

Lyrics:

I tried to read poetry
but couldn’t remember a verse
And what good are words
if they fly off like birds
But this is a gift, not a curse

No excuse for laziness
But In never learned how to read
And I refuse to change my ways
I’ve got everything that I need

I wanted a family
but I couldn’t spare the expense
and what good are kids
if I’m not happy with
the weight of my dollars and cents?

No regrets for working hard
I spent all my hours as I should
Face to face with faceless men
securing my ultimate good

I’m building a legacy
that’s how I’m going to live on
performing tricks and collecting clicks
remember to like when I’m gone

No idea who I’ve become
Though I am a self-made man
Who are we? And who really cares?
I’m sure that I am that I am

Murderer

Lyrics:

My pride struck down 300 souls
Innocent blood always its goal

The deadliest force that I can muster up
aint steel or guns or things that I blow up

The deadliest force that I can muster up
is that pride in me telling me that I am man and they are not

Oh God,

When I hate I’m a murderer
I have finally found
When I hate I’m a murderer
My own justice burns us to the ground

I have drawn blood
now I can’t stop
I will justify
Every last drop

The deadliest force that I can muster up
aint ideology or religiosity overflowing from my cup
The deadliest force that I can muster up
Is that pride in my heart telling me that I can start war with who I want

Remember

New song I’ve been working on. Lyrics below

Sky line fading to black
We can never go back

Like a dream runs as your waking up
As a candle suffocates underneath a cup
Everything you think is yours will learn to fly

And as the world passes by

I want you to know that
I will remember you
I want you to know that
I never could forget you

We are losing our minds
Our shapes cut into lines

Even as my body dies
Even as the light fades from my eyes
When it’s time to say goodbye

And you don’t understand why

Refrain 

I’m remember almost everything
You’re becoming and truly loving as

Dionysus

Here’s a song I wrote in part about a friend who died way too young. The recording process was interesting: I used forks, light bulbs, a matchbox, and a rosary for a section of the beat. It’s completely cryptic and kind of a pop-ballady thing. #dealwithit

The Devil Plays Stupid Tricks (or How I Learned To Stop Making Myths)

The syllable count in the lyrics have meaning.

The battle over our hearts
it carries on in a new frame

The gods of old fell apart
But resurrected with new names

All of the disenchanting
All of our deconstructing
Nothing is stopping the war

All of our internalizing
Every product we’ve been buying
Everything has been done before

It’s just a trick up the sleeve
Because the magic still dwells here

We don’t know what to believe
As it builds up under pressure

Still the demons haunt me
Through my technology
They posses me through screens

We made a myth for our age
And so surprised that we bought it

We shed the heavens and earth
Now horrified that we’re caught in

Chasms that swallow us whole
No one has any has any control
Everyone is losing their grip

Building only to tear it down
Losing all of our solid ground
We don’t know how to handle it

Watch for the hero to come
Listen for the battle drums
He is bringing us back home

No Good Reason

Another song. This one I made two years back. Lyrics and discussion below:

I’ve never seen the sunlight

So why should I believe

that these clouds will ever leave

why should I believe

that things will change

why should I believe

that things will ever change

If all I get is a moment

That’s enough to make me free

I’m fighting off the demons

that say what was is what will be

There’s no good reason to trust you

And there’s no good reason to hope

There’s no good reason to love

There’s no good reason

No good reason

I wrote this song sitting in my bedroom on a cloudy day, musing on miracles. “I’ve never seen a miracle” was the first thought that crossed my mind, “and why should believe that I will ever see one?” I started associating my anger and frustration in not being able to see a neat, tidy demonstration of the Divine to the feeling of despair, specifically a despair of faith. “If all I saw was one tiny glimpse” I thought, “I’d be satisfied” (which, of course, probably isn’t true.)

Crossing over from the realm of miracles to faith, the song ends up really being about hoping against all hope. “There’s no good reason to have faith, hope, or love” — especially in the face of things like pain and suffering. In darkness, it’s hard to see any form of reason as good. In fact, it’s  impossible to see anything at all.

But how do you hope for light if you’ve never seen it? Or why should you hope for it if you don’t even know what it is?

In other words, how can you desire it if you don’t believe in it? And how can you believe in it if you haven’t heard of it? And how can you hear about it without someone to tell you? And how can someone tell you unless they have seen it themselves?

How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news.

Don’t be far!

Here’s a song I started back in 2009 kind of experimenting with electronic and dissonant sounds. At the time, only one intelligible lyric I had written was

I love / cuz I have to love

I re-worked it to relate to my thoughts on fabricating ecstasy; the song is written from the vantage point of someone who is desperate for some kind of emotion, especially in the context of musical praise. Lyrics below.

Caught up into the skies

Friends to my left and to my right

We’re reaching up to catch ambrosia rain

Fall, come and drown us out

Our noise, let it shake and move the ground

Cuz if you don’t hear us, we’re going to burn

Don’t be far from me

Don’t abandon me

Make me feel alright

Or I could die tonight

Thought that I was alright

But you told me I need to stay up all night

If I was going to prove my love

I love, cuz I have to love

Embrace, cuz I’m forced into your arms

Don’t let me down, come down, and make me high